pain, past, and more

Posting here awakens painful thoughts and emotions. (But does it have to?!) So, the first thing that comes to mind is 'if you don't want this to happen don't write here.'
I didn't for a while and to a big extent it worked. No past, no me, no problem .

Whining kids.

What part allows such awful images of me to appear? Ugh!
Later I see through the fear, the painful obsessions, all those negative thoughts and I am drawing how it feels to be hugging Rumi, and I think that it might be good to post despite the risks, the pain, the futility of it. Simply because it is a journey of sorts. The journey of free drawing when you can.
Of course I may be absolutely wrong.