Sunday fun

When Rumi showed me the kitty she made I imagined it on indigo fabrics with white patterns. We don't have such fabrics, so I started drawing them. Then, unfortunately we had to leave and that was the end of the Sunday morning fun.

Something different. Written.

This came at the right time. I felt all the sadness, the lonelyness, the isolation of living with the self. And from the self. Small, unworthy, unlovable so limited, and limiting life to...a silly, fearful afair of survival, how on Earth to not be a stranger, an alien, how to be loved, and the most important question, how not to live from there. This very sad, small place. I know we are supposed to hide those realizations, moments, but this isn't about Maria. It is about everyone of us. We share this sad condition. I think it is better to be honest,  even in inappropriate ways, then to pretend as society asks of you.
I wrote this on Facebook. Below a video of Dalai Lama talking about negative thoughts/emotions. Because I have been blogging here. Asking my imaginary God to love me. Without directly turning to him. I have also restricted myself . Have tried to act like...I don't know...someone sane, agreeable, responsible, normal, adult, BUT, who is the world? And why give it the censored? Don't we create the world  with our every breath, move, action, word, food, plastic container, but  most importantly with the way we interact? And writing to me has come as a sad inefficient way to turn to you. As a substitute for talking...
And maybe I will always talk to air, who winks, smiles, taps my sholder and says: "Relax girl, being simple isn't in fashion. No one will ever listen, or respond to these poorly put concerns . Take a walk. "
"Walks are nice. I have stopped walking just to see the trees, and to open space for beauty. Traded it for production. Cause I thought that's all others care about. "
"Go to bed now."

roughs, stiffs and rough days

Some days neither the drawings nor the compositions come out right. At least I tried.

                                                     

The other side of the doodle. And in a more saturated version.

Exploration, freedom?

A big day for this small guy. I got to watch him venture out. He found his way around the room and back to the cage much faster than the parakeets. I wonder if this is because he is older, or he is just a smart guy. He was very happy to be exploring.

The day we received him, Rumi and I drew how finches differ from parakeets.

Rumi like most kids loves making gifts for her friends. These expressions of love...

Zachary had a swim meet today. I had looked forward to the opportunity to draw the kids, but I found it hard. I don't seem to be able to chat and pay sufficient attention/draw at the same time. It was very hot and noisy, and I kept thinking how the drawings were worse than last year's. Gosh, this nagging mind!

So not used to working with a pencil...
And one big guy for contrast.

suffering and drawings

We went to an alt-J concert last night. In our village. I got to draw, but it was outside, and one of my eye's sclera got horribly inflamed from all the pollen. My eye felt and looked awful. Anyhow. I'm still alive.

My drawings next to Rumi's!

Happy Earth day!

Every day should be Earth day. It would be great if people loved the Earth more than their plastic junk. Let's hope this transformation happens before it's too late.

Took Rumi to a very busy playground in the afternoon. Was trying to capture movement. This is difficult for me, yet essential in storytelling. I need more practice...

Sadly she did't find any friends there, so we didn't stay for long.

you are not a banana

You are not a banana

you are not a potato

you are not a grey mouse

that only looks like a bird

you're not a fawn without hooves

you are....aaa.........fly..y..y...ing

CARROT.

That's who you  AAARRE!!!

He has been living in the cage for two years. I keep trying to imagine what that would be like. Hopefully he'll want to explore the house at some point.

We decided to name him Flying Carrot. Some other names were: Edward, fawn, bouncy ball, party pooper and grasshopper. For once I am sad no one ever reads my blog or replies. 

I was so miserable because of the allergy today. At least I managed to draw a bit.

What I saw out the window yesterday. This morning Rumi showed me three emerging mushrooms in her plant. And this is how big they were by evening.

Your absence.

Lemon and Snow white are puzzled

This morning we received this guy. He is to live with us. He is of course frightened.

And Lemon and Snow white,
are you going to spend the whole day far from him, quietly watching this suspicious creature?

Oh, now they are talking to each other. A bit.

light

"How many kids do you have?"
"Two."
"Take two hearts then. And one more for you."

As I was leaving two boys gave me these boats. I could use some boats.

Had a wonderful school visit this morning.
With all the backwardness in politics, violence and other manifestations of unconsciousness it seems hard to be hopeful.
Standing next to children, feeling their light and listening to them share their stories and drawings is something else.